Back to School and Eating Disorder Recovery: How to Navigate the Transition

This time of year can feel like a lot. Everything comes at once — the end of summer, the darker evenings, the pace of life ratcheting up — and our kids are heading back to school and college.

For most parents this is a time of relief as much as pressure. The welcome return to routine, not having to entertain everyone all day — though the return of all the sports and activities brings its own pressure!

And for those of us supporting a loved one's recovery from an eating disorder, it can be a time full of anxiety, for them and for us. Will they manage? How will they handle lunch and snacks? Taking part in PE — or not being able to?

We know from the research that transitions can be difficult in eating disorder recovery, and that changes in routine can sometimes create "windows of opportunity" for the illness.

So how can we prepare ourselves and our loved ones? Quite a lot, actually. And, as I always say, it helps to plan ahead — we feel less anxious when we've thought things through, even if we never end up needing the plan.

Talk to your child

Take the time to talk about the return to school or college. What are they worried about? What would help?

It's always worse when it's rattling around in our heads, so a conversation where you can put some actions in place — ones that help you both — can really make a difference.

For example: what would help them remember their snack during the day? A text from you with a joke or a meme? An "I love you"? (In my experience, "eat your snack" rarely has the desired effect!)

Talk to the treatment team

If you have a treatment team, bring them into the transition. Are they happy with your child going back? Full days or partial days? What supports do they think your child needs?

Would they suggest that someone goes to the school at lunchtime, so your child can eat in the car with you? Are there other options? I know it can be a significant commitment to have to do this. But it can make a significant difference to recovery too.

Talk to the school

Often our loved ones want to keep the illness private. That's completely understandable and appropriate. But sometimes someone in the school needs to know what's going on — why PE isn't possible for now, for instance — so that they won't say the wrong thing.

And very often, schools can provide real, additional support. Facilitating your child eating in a separate room, with supervision or with an SNA for company. Letting them have lunch a little earlier than their classmates, so they can come back for the social part of lunchtime.

For the most part, schools are very tuned in to supporting children's needs. Sometimes all we have to do is ask. And remember — an eating disorder thrives in secrecy.

Don't fall into "eating disorder" traps

As I said at the start, transitions can create openings for the illness to take hold. So be ready for the traps we can so easily fall into.

Your child says, "I can't make that appointment, I have homework." It's important that we support them in keeping their appointments and staying with the treatment team. And this is hard — because sometimes the reasons make perfect sense!

A question I come back to: "If I say yes to this, who am I really helping?"

You've got this

I hope these help you prepare for the year ahead. And remember — you've got this.

Every family's situation is different, and there's no single right way to navigate this. But planning ahead, keeping the lines of communication open, and not letting the illness operate in secret will carry you a long way.

If you need support navigating this transition, we're here. CEDAR runs First Aid for Caregivers, a programme built for people supporting a loved one through an eating disorder — practical, compassionate, and designed to help you feel less alone in it.

Find out more →  First Aid for Caregivers

Frequently asked questions

Why is going back to school so hard in eating disorder recovery?

Transitions of any kind — new routines, new environments, changes in structure — can be destabilising in recovery. Mealtimes shift, supervision changes, and the day becomes less predictable. The research consistently shows that periods of change can create openings for the illness, which is why planning ahead for them matters so much.

Should I tell the school about my child's eating disorder?

Your child's privacy matters, and many young people understandably want to keep the illness private. But it often helps for at least one trusted person at the school to know what's happening — so they don't unintentionally say the wrong thing, and so they can put practical supports in place. This can usually be done discreetly.

What kind of support can a school actually offer?

More than many parents expect. Common examples include a separate, supervised space to eat, company at lunchtime from an SNA, an adjusted lunch schedule, or understanding around PE. Most schools are very willing to help when asked — the first step is simply starting the conversation.

How do I handle my child using homework or activities to avoid appointments?

Gently but firmly prioritise the treatment. The tricky part is that the reasons often sound completely reasonable, which is exactly what makes them effective. A helpful question to ask yourself is: "If I say yes to this, who am I really helping — my child, or the eating disorder?"

Where can I get support for myself as a caregiver?

Supporting a loved one through an eating disorder is demanding, and you deserve support too. CEDAR runs programmes specifically for caregivers, and we're always happy to talk through whether they're a fit for your situation.

CEDAR — Community of Eating Disorders Awareness and Recovery

This article is for information and support. It is not a substitute for individual clinical advice.